Fade
by Dagger Kitsune
Summary: Little oneshot for Seres Victoria about he thoughts on Alucard. Will only be a oneshot for right now.


Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or the characters they are owned by Kohta Hirano and I do not own the song "Fade" that is owned by Staind. No money is being made by this. Please do not sue me.

_Fade_

Seras was in her room laying on her bed listening to the cd player and cd's that Walter and the Wild Geese had been kind enough to give her for her birthday. The cd she was listening to was one of her favorite bands. She loved listening to Staind when she was angry or sad because most of the songs expressed how she felt inside sometimes. She was sad right now because of her master, Alucard. He had been teasing her about her humanity and telling her to give it up. "Fade", a song by Staind was starting to play and Seras started to sing along to it.

_I try to breathe  
Memories overtaking me  
I try to face them but  
The thought is too much to conceive_

_I only know that I can change  
Everything else just stays the same  
So now I step out of the darkness  
that my life became 'cause_

(Why did Alucard have to be so against me keeping my past. I know that my past may come back and haunt me, but I'm ok with that. Doesn't he remember what being human was like?) she ask herself as she sang.

_I just needed someone to talk to  
You were just to busy with yourself  
You were never there for me  
To express how I felt  
I just stuffed it down  
Now I'm older and I feel like  
I could let some of this anger fade  
But it seems the surface I am scratching  
Is the bed that I have made  
_

(I thought he would teach me the ways of "our" kind but after I didn't take his blood when we fought Anderson he gave up. Doesn't he remember when he was a fledgling? Doesn't he understand that it is hard not have anyone to guide you? It's so hard…) thought Seras as she sang those words.

_So where were you?  
When all this I was going through  
You never took the time  
To ask me just what you could do _

I only know that I can change  
Everything else just stays the same  
So now I step out of the darkness  
that my life became 'cause

(He has never treated me as an equal…. No one really has… Some days I wish I just could change to please him…. And everyone else…) she whispered in her mind, singing still.

_I just needed someone to talk to  
You were just to busy with yourself  
You were never there for me  
To express how I felt  
I just stuffed it down  
Now I'm older and I feel like  
I could let some of this anger fade  
But it seems the surface I am scratching  
Is the bed that I have made _

I never meant to fade...  
Away

(Would it be better for me to fade away from him… from my past… from life…..) thought Seras.

_I NEVER MEANT TO FADE  
_

(No! I won't give up! I choose this life and I have to prove to everyone, especially him I am stronger than I look!) she swore to herself.

_I just needed someone to talk to  
You were just to busy with yourself  
You were never there for me  
To express how I felt  
I just stuffed it down  
Now I'm older and I feel like  
I could let some of this anger fade  
But it seems the surface I am scratching  
Is the bed that I have made _

I try to breathe...

(I will to become a stronger vampire… I want to make Master Alucard proud of me…. I owe him that much…) Seras thought to herself before turning off her cd player off and lowering the top of her bed to make a coffin. Before she fell asleep she thought (I'm sorry that I'm not what you want me to be but I'm working on that….)

_  
_A black portal forms on a wall and a man steps out of it dressed in a red trench coat, white shirt, black pants, and riding boots. He looks at the coffin and walks to it. Standing over it he whispers to the sleeping women inside "I heard both your song and thoughts, Seras Victoria. I am sorry to have caused you this pain. I promise to make it up to you…" He slowly fades from the room a blood red tear falling to the floor the only thing showing that he had been there.

Author's Note: This is my first one shot. I hope you all enjoyed it! Reviews and constructive criticism welcomed!


End file.
